








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1703 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1788 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 859 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 233 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,952 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RFK | 52% | 123 |
| #2 | rodizzle | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | fanu | 47% | 59 |
| #4 | stinkBUM07 | 45% | 83 |
| #5 | DJ BILLYBOOL | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RFK | 52% | 123 |
| #2 | rodizzle | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | fanu | 47% | 59 |
| #4 | stinkBUM07 | 45% | 83 |
| #5 | DJ BILLYBOOL | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stinkBUM07 | 27 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | RFK | 21 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | fanu | 14 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | DJ BILLYBOOL | 9 | 0.0186 |
| #5 | rodizzle | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RFK | 391 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | stinkBUM07 | 238 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | rodizzle | 130 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | fanu | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | DJ BILLYBOOL | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rodizzle | +6.51 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | RFK | +1.50 | 54 | 72 |
| #3 | LURKKK | +0.20 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | DJ BILLYBOOL | -1.40 | 31 | 34 |
| #5 | stinkBUM07 | -2.80 | 32 | 45 |





