








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1987 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 946 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,658 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




387 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6279 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8486 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11663 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4290 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,360,941 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minji | 57% | 86 |
| #2 | Gudrun Schyman | 52% | 63 |
| #3 | Greven von Gruvan | 49% | 90 |
| #4 | Strika | 48% | 221 |
| #5 | aimkey | 47% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamza thai | 115 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Strika | 58 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Gudrun Schyman | 29 | 0.0217 |
| #4 | aimkey | 28 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | Greven von Gruvan | 20 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strika | 1036 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #2 | hamza thai | 378 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gudrun Schyman | 371 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | Greven von Gruvan | 146 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | aimkey | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minji | +5.66 | 84 | 47 |
| #2 | aimkey | +5.55 | 92 | 40 |
| #3 | Greven von Gruvan | +3.18 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | Gudrun Schyman | +1.54 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | Strika | +1.18 | 65 | 63 |





