








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1182 | 39% |
| Smokes | 697 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 495 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 694 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,456 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serious lah dohhh | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | 33 | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | c0nl0n | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | Vintage | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | ShawdowSytherZX (No Sound) | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Kelm | 29% | 14 |
| #9 | Ook Gluk | 25% | 20 |
| #10 | 躺好 | 22% | 9 |
| #11 | SoulMa5ter | 15% | 13 |
| #12 | ... | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feedalee | +2.83 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | serious lah dohhh | +2.77 | 88 | 64 |
| #3 | Vintage | +1.90 | 91 | 45 |
| #4 | c0nl0n | +0.77 | 77 | 48 |
| #5 | 躺好 | +0.28 | 88 | 48 |





