








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3785 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3006 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2684 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2601 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,920 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nแปฉng nแปn nรชn | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | 7 phแบงn bแบฅt lแปฑc | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | coL-iwnl | 46% | 70 |
| #9 | Sฦกn Lรดng | 46% | 90 |
| #10 | ๐๐ช๐ท๐๐ป | 43% | 14 |





