








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 775 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 674 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11078 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10513 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 12234 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6712 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,806,537 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Darius | 52% | 323 |
| #2 | BakedPotato | 50% | 159 |
| #3 | Deces | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | Hartshock™ | 47% | 157 |
| #5 | Smush | 46% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Darius | 52% | 323 |
| #2 | BakedPotato | 50% | 159 |
| #3 | Deces | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | Hartshock™ | 47% | 157 |
| #5 | Smush | 46% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Darius | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Hartshock™ | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | BakedPotato | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Smush | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Deces | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Darius | 972 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | Smush | 482 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Hartshock™ | 467 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | BakedPotato | 280 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Deces | 91 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | White Darius | +0.66 | 62 | 59 |
| #2 | Deces | +0.46 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | Hartshock™ | +0.41 | 42 | 64 |
| #4 | BakedPotato | +0.33 | 55 | 51 |
| #5 | Smush | +0.15 | 78 | 58 |





