








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2931 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4242 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2467 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,962 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





