








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2392 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1739 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1761 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2187 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $828,092 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑽𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒂𝒏™ | 50% | 177 |
| #2 | The Bonk | 48% | 98 |
| #3 | tag_them_down | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | Apollo | 45% | 100 |
| #5 | Zepp | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑽𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒂𝒏™ | 50% | 177 |
| #2 | The Bonk | 48% | 98 |
| #3 | tag_them_down | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | Apollo | 45% | 100 |
| #5 | Zepp | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zepp | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Apollo | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | The Bonk | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | tag_them_down | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | 𝑽𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒂𝒏™ | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑽𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒂𝒏™ | 576 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | tag_them_down | 392 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #3 | Zepp | 330 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | The Bonk | 225 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Apollo | 196 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jfr | +1.36 | 70 | 61 |
| #2 | The Bonk | +0.04 | 58 | 63 |
| #3 | 𝑽𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒂𝒏™ | +0.01 | 53 | 73 |
| #4 | Apollo | -1.25 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | tag_them_down | -2.34 | 60 | 68 |





