








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1489 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,390 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alpAkka | 83% | 36 |
| #2 | M1nkki | 68% | 75 |
| #3 | sensei2k | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | ɢᴏᴅ𝕆𝕗𝕖ℤ𝕐™ | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alpAkka | 83% | 36 |
| #2 | M1nkki | 68% | 75 |
| #3 | sensei2k | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | ɢᴏᴅ𝕆𝕗𝕖ℤ𝕐™ | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sensei2k | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | alpAkka | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1nkki | 183 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | sensei2k | 118 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | alpAkka | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ɢᴏᴅ𝕆𝕗𝕖ℤ𝕐™ | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aito hima? | +3.22 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | alpAkka | +3.03 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | ɢᴏᴅ𝕆𝕗𝕖ℤ𝕐™ | +0.86 | 95 | 57 |
| #4 | M1nkki | +0.00 | 83 | 65 |
| #5 | sensei2k | -1.65 | 46 | 54 |





