








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1023 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1526 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 603 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,323 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ErectileDysfunctionDSpeaks | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | ImPottu | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Anzzi | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | STATICZIM | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | akina | 33% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ErectileDysfunctionDSpeaks | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | ImPottu | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Anzzi | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | STATICZIM | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | akina | 33% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STATICZIM | 8 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Anzzi | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | akina | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ErectileDysfunctionDSpeaks | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STATICZIM | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | ErectileDysfunctionDSpeaks | 48 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Anzzi | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | akina | 24 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ImPottu | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akina | +2.49 | 83 | 45 |
| #2 | matti0300 | +0.96 | 48 | 48 |
| #3 | Anzzi | -0.08 | 42 | 60 |
| #4 | STATICZIM | -1.67 | 41 | 51 |
| #5 | ErectileDysfunctionDSpeaks | -4.83 | 19 | 59 |





