








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 6% |
| Smokes | 559 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1144 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1614 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,096 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I have BMW 330E M-sports | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Yajul | 45% | 182 |
| #3 | Ponobi | 43% | 217 |
| #4 | NeoN | 40% | 217 |
| #5 | ใในใ | 40% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ponobi | 43% | 217 |
| #4 | NeoN | 40% | 217 |
| #5 | ใในใ | 40% | 280 |
| #6 | SimplySquare | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | Chicken God | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ใในใ | 35 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | NeoN | 34 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Ponobi | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Yajul | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | SimplySquare | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ใในใ | 1295 | 0.23 | 34 min |
| #2 | Yajul | 644 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #3 | NeoN | 489 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | Ponobi | 314 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | SimplySquare | 26 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yajul | +3.78 | 74 | 79 |
| #2 | NeoN | +3.25 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | SimplySquare | +1.90 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | Ponobi | -0.39 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | ใในใ | -0.94 | 43 | 68 |





