








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 281 | 15% |
| Smokes | 287 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 824 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 537 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,979 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aarre | 50% | 101 |
| #2 | ✪ 𝔽 𝟙 ℕ varska | 48% | 54 |
| #3 | Ebluz | 45% | 58 |
| #4 | taateli | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aarre | 50% | 101 |
| #2 | ✪ 𝔽 𝟙 ℕ varska | 48% | 54 |
| #3 | Ebluz | 45% | 58 |
| #4 | taateli | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aarre | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Ebluz | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | taateli | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | ✪ 𝔽 𝟙 ℕ varska | 6 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝔽 𝟙 ℕ varska | 164 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Aarre | 143 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | taateli | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ebluz | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aarre | +3.71 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | Ebluz | +2.16 | 77 | 43 |
| #3 | Jezpu | -0.65 | 55 | 36 |
| #4 | taateli | -1.36 | 60 | 47 |
| #5 | ✪ 𝔽 𝟙 ℕ varska | -2.03 | 67 | 62 |





