








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 326 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




201 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4364 | 58% |
| Smokes | 371 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 2486 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 280 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,596 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodGutten | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | ⛟ | 49% | 59 |
| #3 | 4_TAP | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | ♿ Robert J. Oppenheimer | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | deydra | 11% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodGutten | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | ⛟ | 49% | 59 |
| #3 | 4_TAP | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | ♿ Robert J. Oppenheimer | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | deydra | 11% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Robert J. Oppenheimer | 24 | 0.0404 |
| #2 | deydra | 23 | 0.0777 |
| #3 | GodGutten | 22 | 0.0550 |
| #4 | ⛟ | 11 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | 4_TAP | 11 | 0.0157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deydra | 75 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #2 | GodGutten | 50 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | ⛟ | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♿ Robert J. Oppenheimer | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | 4_TAP | 34 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodGutten | +5.26 | 65 | 42 |
| #2 | ⛟ | +1.68 | 60 | 36 |
| #3 | Fish | +1.24 | 25 | 53 |
| #4 | deydra | +0.08 | 26 | 29 |
| #5 | ♿ Robert J. Oppenheimer | -0.75 | 32 | 12 |





