








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 884 | 27% |
| Smokes | 975 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 680 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 722 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,948 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dee jone | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | daze | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | 𝔩𝔲𝔠𝔦. | 71% | 31 |
| #4 | Pablito Espressobar | 65% | 34 |
| #5 | God of Pain | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝔩𝔲𝔠𝔦. | 71% | 31 |
| #4 | Pablito Espressobar | 65% | 34 |
| #5 | God of Pain | 58% | 19 |
| #6 | Umaru-chwan | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | ayo | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablito Espressobar | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | 𝔩𝔲𝔠𝔦. | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ayo | 2 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | daze | 2 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔩𝔲𝔠𝔦. | 89 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | God of Pain | 81 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | dee jone | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Umaru-chwan | 22 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pablito Espressobar | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𓆩𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥𓆪 | +3.27 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | daze | +1.87 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | dee jone | +0.67 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | Umaru-chwan | +0.10 | 72 | 43 |
| #5 | 𝔩𝔲𝔠𝔦. | -0.03 | 78 | 62 |





