








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2116 | 50% |
| Smokes | 610 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 670 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 850 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,673 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rydetzz | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | honorio | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Kalsinha | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | corsa | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | $chu!tz | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rydetzz | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | honorio | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Kalsinha | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | corsa | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | $chu!tz | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalsinha | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | $chu!tz | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | corsa | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Rydetzz | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalsinha | 99 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | $chu!tz | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | honorio | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | corsa | 32 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Rydetzz | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalsinha | +1.77 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | mASkeIKo | +1.18 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Rydetzz | +0.97 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | honorio | -0.96 | 39 | 50 |
| #5 | $chu!tz | -2.31 | 47 | 66 |





