








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1378 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1113 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1038 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 892 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,387 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OxidE | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Dandy- | 71% | 34 |
| #3 | fierss | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | BODIE | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | ZeddiS | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dandy- | +2.60 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | foxen | +2.21 | 81 | 48 |
| #3 | OxidE | +2.02 | 88 | 69 |
| #4 | Try to tame me | +1.09 | 58 | 52 |
| #5 | H1TMAKER | +0.95 | 90 | 69 |





