








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2256 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2136 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1226 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1702 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,264 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sippin | 56% | 128 |
| #6 | Koiden | 53% | 120 |
| #7 | BlazeBacon | 53% | 55 |
| #8 | personsarecool | 50% | 16 |
| #9 | Chicken | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koiden | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Sippin | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Chicken | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Patrick "the flying" Star | 3 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | daman | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koiden | 277 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | daman | 158 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sippin | 142 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | BlazeBacon | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Patrick "the flying" Star | 60 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daman | +6.39 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Sippin | +1.80 | 82 | 48 |
| #3 | Yeeter Ye | +1.69 | 37 | 64 |
| #4 | personsarecool | +1.08 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | Patrick "the flying" Star | -0.46 | 68 | 53 |





