








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1768 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1298 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1111 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 690 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,476 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vartaliotas | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Ennesy | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Sloncik | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | NEEGY | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vartaliotas | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Ennesy | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Sloncik | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | NEEGY | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ennesy | 12 | 0.0332 |
| #2 | Vartaliotas | 6 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vartaliotas | 81 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ennesy | 58 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | NEEGY | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sloncik | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dencik | +2.21 | 67 | 52 |
| #2 | NEEGY | +1.89 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | Vartaliotas | +0.66 | 47 | 68 |
| #4 | Ennesy | -0.74 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | Sloncik | -4.09 | 35 | 29 |





