










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 32 | 12% |
| Smokes | 43 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 98 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 99 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,300 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | KK Hades<3 | 44% | 32 |
| #7 | جونكلر برايم | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | kileroli | 33% | 39 |
| #9 | -charlez- 更好 | 20% | 5 |
| #10 | 𝒎𝒊𝒙𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒔. | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kileroli | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | -charlez- 更好 | 2 | 0.0211 |
| #3 | KK Hades<3 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Demos | 1 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | 𝒎𝒊𝒙𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒔. | 1 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KK Hades<3 | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Demos | 24 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #3 | gogugogiugogu | 19 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | kileroli | 18 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | gnacior2115 | 15 | 0.14 | 0 min |





