








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 791 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1209 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 720 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,471 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AbsX22 | 41% | 66 |
| #2 | DRK1 | 37% | 43 |
| #3 | fad3d_knight | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | Wooded-car | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | SRPG | 29% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DRK1 | 37% | 43 |
| #3 | fad3d_knight | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | Wooded-car | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | SRPG | 29% | 68 |
| #6 | THE KING | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRK1 | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | SRPG | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | THE KING | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | fad3d_knight | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Wooded-car | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SRPG | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | DRK1 | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | fad3d_knight | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | THE KING | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | AbsX22 | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TexehBruh | +3.01 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | Wooded-car | +1.58 | 65 | 3 |
| #3 | THE KING | -0.71 | 66 | 26 |
| #4 | DRK1 | -1.28 | 50 | 37 |
| #5 | fad3d_knight | -3.91 | 63 | 38 |





