








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 246 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2088 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2429 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1382 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2320 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,240 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Rontti | 60% | 63 |
| #8 | Tupew | 60% | 112 |
| #9 | MiksuMies | 52% | 23 |
| #10 | jaara | 50% | 16 |
| #11 | Pull1s | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tupew | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Rontti | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | VaKe | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tupew | 488 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | Rontti | 334 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | VeeKoo | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | _/\_ | 131 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | VaKe | 106 | 0.10 | 2 min |





