








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1926 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2058 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1491 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1610 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,993 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmhmn | 29 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Gimli Dosenbier | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | j i m e l l a | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | passivedeathwish | 4 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Voltaire | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmhmn | 531 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Gimli Dosenbier | 330 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Voltaire | 115 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | passivedeathwish | 88 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | j i m e l l a | 63 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gimli Dosenbier | +2.28 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | dmhmn | +1.15 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | passivedeathwish | +0.54 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | LalalaLisa | +0.43 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | Voltaire | -1.93 | 55 | 58 |





