








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1062 | 50% |
| Smokes | 302 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 543 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 215 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,116 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | japu | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | affe | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | roopemkl | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | oonsara | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | Nainen | 65% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nainen | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | oonsara | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | roopemkl | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | affe | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | japu | 1 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nainen | 124 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | oonsara | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | affe | 39 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | roopemkl | 36 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | japu | 15 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | affe | +4.66 | 89 | 75 |
| #2 | japu | +4.37 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Augury | +3.12 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | roopemkl | +0.13 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | oonsara | -0.23 | 50 | 53 |





