








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 671 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7992 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9030 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6535 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6530 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,814 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chunkerizer | 48% | 410 |
| #2 | SLippy | 47% | 469 |
| #3 | RossBoss | 46% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chunkerizer | 48% | 410 |
| #2 | SLippy | 47% | 469 |
| #3 | RossBoss | 46% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLippy | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Chunkerizer | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | RossBoss | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLippy | 853 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #2 | RossBoss | 359 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | Chunkerizer | 206 | 0.02 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLippy | +0.87 | 69 | 60 |
| #2 | peels. | +0.73 | 64 | 64 |
| #3 | RossBoss | -0.19 | 54 | 56 |
| #4 | Chunkerizer | -1.65 | 37 | 46 |





