










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1641 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3425 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3701 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2917 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,866,613 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knavishness | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | Ey miguel | 47% | 104 |
| #3 | ♥★Blondy♥★ | 47% | 317 |
| #4 | Hey Apple | 47% | 293 |
| #5 | Waccs | 41% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knavishness | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | Ey miguel | 47% | 104 |
| #3 | ♥★Blondy♥★ | 47% | 317 |
| #4 | Hey Apple | 47% | 293 |
| #5 | Waccs | 41% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hey Apple | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ♥★Blondy♥★ | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Ey miguel | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Waccs | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Knavishness | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hey Apple | 507 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #2 | ♥★Blondy♥★ | 183 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #3 | Waccs | 154 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ey miguel | 116 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Knavishness | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knavishness | +3.95 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | Waccs | +3.40 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | Ey miguel | -0.17 | 65 | 47 |
| #4 | Hey Apple | -0.18 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | ♥★Blondy♥★ | -0.59 | 61 | 54 |





