








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 435 | 23% |
| Smokes | 462 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 463 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 498 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,696 of utility $325 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | katze kifft | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Gregor the Belphegor | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | PASSIVEE | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Yersinia | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Gutch | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | l3on1das | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | Ez_Win | 45% | 38 |
| #9 | havishchelikam | 44% | 55 |
| #10 | Abubaker | 26% | 19 |
| #11 | TrafficKnight☂ | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yersinia | 3 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | havishchelikam | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | l3on1das | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Ez_Win | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Abubaker | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo85 | 217 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ez_Win | 180 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | l3on1das | 175 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #4 | havishchelikam | 147 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gutch | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo85 | +2.43 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | Ez_Win | +2.40 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | Yersinia | +2.06 | 41 | 51 |
| #4 | l3on1das | +1.76 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | Gutch | +1.23 | 69 | 43 |





