








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 946 | 30% |
| Smokes | 610 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 859 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,293 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob | 3 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | ♱ Mikvik ♱ | 3 | 0.0186 |
| #3 | Dexter Morgan | 2 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | SloanWall | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiLLa_0zz | 206 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jacob | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | ♱ Mikvik ♱ | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | SloanWall | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dexter Morgan | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexter Morgan | +3.71 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | SloanWall | +1.79 | 60 | 42 |
| #3 | chewie | +1.43 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | ♱ Mikvik ♱ | +1.22 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | KiLLa_0zz | +1.17 | 72 | 51 |





