








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Wingman | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2895 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4691 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5139 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3875 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $863,844 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerZiegenreiter | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Hasbulla | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Shabaneli | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Weedlord_Bonerhitler69 | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | DerEselreiter | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hasbulla | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Shabaneli | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Weedlord_Bonerhitler69 | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | DerEselreiter | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | Toxic_Enrage | 46% | 411 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic_Enrage | 41 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Weedlord_Bonerhitler69 | 20 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Hasbulla | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Shabaneli | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | DerZiegenreiter | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic_Enrage | 433 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | Weedlord_Bonerhitler69 | 211 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | DerZiegenreiter | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | DerEselreiter | 59 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hasbulla | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerZiegenreiter | +6.56 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | DerEselreiter | +6.15 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | Hasbulla | +2.21 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | Weedlord_Bonerhitler69 | +1.48 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | Vac For Free ︻芫 ↼ | +0.67 | 39 | 62 |





