








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1681 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 899 matches | ||
| Wingman | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




202 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6652 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7443 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5955 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7693 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,536,726 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4578 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Igris | 57% | 240 |
| #2 | PENRITE Synthetic 2 Stroke Oil | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | Alcedo ☦ | 49% | 680 |
| #4 | Jack | 47% | 445 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Igris | 57% | 240 |
| #2 | PENRITE Synthetic 2 Stroke Oil | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | Alcedo ☦ | 49% | 680 |
| #4 | Jack | 47% | 445 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alcedo ☦ | 151 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Jack | 122 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Igris | 84 | 0.0191 |
| #4 | PENRITE Synthetic 2 Stroke Oil | 30 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alcedo ☦ | 1594 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #2 | Jack | 649 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #3 | PENRITE Synthetic 2 Stroke Oil | 362 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Igris | 344 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Igris | +4.47 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | Beru | +1.19 | 74 | 49 |
| #3 | Jack | +0.04 | 73 | 45 |
| #4 | Alcedo ☦ | -0.11 | 56 | 45 |
| #5 | PENRITE Synthetic 2 Stroke Oil | -1.89 | 61 | 54 |





