








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 644 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1137 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,865 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 841 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Damarcus Cleeveland III Jr. | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | Master Spliffer ❟❛❟ | 47% | 36 |
| #7 | Karbonat Erol | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | KKCarlo | 33% | 15 |
| #9 | 1zzy_st | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josef Fritzl | 110 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Damarcus Cleeveland III Jr. | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Master Spliffer ❟❛❟ | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | nyo | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | KKCarlo | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josef Fritzl | +2.44 | 50 | 61 |
| #2 | Damarcus Cleeveland III Jr. | +1.50 | 58 | 39 |
| #3 | Master Spliffer ❟❛❟ | +1.10 | 70 | 46 |
| #4 | de_N1ck | +0.87 | 67 | 31 |
| #5 | 1zzy_st | -1.54 | 57 | 52 |





