










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 222 | 28% |
| Smokes | 126 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 226 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,362 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osius|40fps | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | Magnus | 100% | 8 |
| #3 | seeeetttt v2 [#w] | 100% | 8 |
| #4 | swaggy | 80% | 10 |
| #5 | Fellaini | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osius|40fps | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | Magnus | 100% | 8 |
| #3 | seeeetttt v2 [#w] | 100% | 8 |
| #4 | swaggy | 80% | 10 |
| #5 | Fellaini | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swaggy | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Magnus | 1 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | osius|40fps | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swaggy | 28 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #2 | osius|40fps | 18 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | Magnus | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Fellaini | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | seeeetttt v2 [#w] | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seeeetttt v2 [#w] | +18.18 | 99 | 79 |
| #2 | osius|40fps | +2.01 | 71 | 47 |
| #3 | Magnus | +0.19 | 34 | 52 |
| #4 | MLXDYB | -0.59 | 30 | 46 |
| #5 | Fellaini | -1.04 | 28 | 27 |





