








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 272 | 34% |
| Smokes | 179 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 177 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 166 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,819 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SebsuTrT <3 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | QUUK1!!! | 40% | 42 |
| #3 | black skinhead | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SebsuTrT <3 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | QUUK1!!! | 40% | 42 |
| #3 | black skinhead | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black skinhead | 1 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QUUK1!!! | 81 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | SebsuTrT <3 | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | black skinhead | 4 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SebsuTrT <3 | +1.94 | 54 | 29 |
| #2 | QUUK1!!! | +1.66 | 58 | 48 |
| #3 | black skinhead | -1.90 | 22 | 32 |
| #4 | 1994 Toyota Celica GT 129kW | -2.97 | 21 | 31 |





