








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 315 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1669 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 288 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 747 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,516 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caz1e | 8 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Mülltonne | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Kype | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Supertoaster | 2 | 0.0035 |





