








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 298 | 33% |
| Smokes | 259 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 289 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 68 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,077 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KapitanUkraina | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | SEROTONIN LEVELS CRITICAL | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | I'm literally Her | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | gang where are you | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Percy Fawcett | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KapitanUkraina | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | SEROTONIN LEVELS CRITICAL | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | I'm literally Her | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | gang where are you | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Percy Fawcett | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEROTONIN LEVELS CRITICAL | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | gang where are you | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | KapitanUkraina | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | I'm literally Her | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEROTONIN LEVELS CRITICAL | 181 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #2 | KapitanUkraina | 93 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | gang where are you | 67 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Percy Fawcett | 36 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | I'm literally Her | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mati | +3.51 | 94 | 26 |
| #2 | SEROTONIN LEVELS CRITICAL | +1.86 | 45 | 75 |
| #3 | I'm literally Her | +0.08 | 20 | 42 |
| #4 | Percy Fawcett | -1.02 | 64 | 42 |
| #5 | KapitanUkraina | -1.37 | 31 | 38 |





