








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 502 | 17% |
| Smokes | 801 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1049 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 590 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,238 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the thermal duck | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | 아지데레 | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Кошка картошка | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Layk | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | OraimDeLaPuenta | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 아지데레 | 6 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Anthraxit | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | X* | 2 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | OraimDeLaPuenta | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anthraxit | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | 아지데레 | 72 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Layk | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Кошка картошка | 20 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | the thermal duck | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the thermal duck | +4.27 | 60 | 45 |
| #2 | 아지데레 | +3.74 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | Кошка картошка | +2.03 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | X* | +1.40 | 74 | 36 |
| #5 | Gazouz | +0.35 | 36 | 55 |





