








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 29 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5024 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4282 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3492 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3644 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,978,316 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skyrix | 1112 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Sonne Von Payus | 275 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kenzie | 160 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | hossel | 153 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Akeno Himejima | 120 | 0.15 | 3 min |





