








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 175 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1679 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2833 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1688 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2881 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,925 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dakii | 51% | 79 |
| #2 | Juicyy tradeit.gg | 46% | 54 |
| #3 | Censor | 45% | 89 |
| #4 | gitbeaned | 45% | 87 |
| #5 | GK | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Censor | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | gitbeaned | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Ethwizard | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | dakii | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | slaYY | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dakii | +3.51 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Haze | +0.97 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | GK | +0.17 | 80 | 52 |
| #4 | Censor | -0.57 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | slaYY | -0.66 | 71 | 63 |





