








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1669 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1018 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 608 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 366 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,450 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Sexo | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Smackeeey | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | Boo🦉 | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Work | 50% | 107 |
| #5 | AustinBeFlossin | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Work | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Smackeeey | 9 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | chegcheg | 5 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Yosh | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | AustinBeFlossin | 3 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Work | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Yosh | 127 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Smackeeey | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Boo🦉 | 74 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | AustinBeFlossin | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Work | +4.58 | 73 | 39 |
| #2 | Smackeeey | +3.21 | 44 | 41 |
| #3 | chegcheg | +1.32 | 35 | 26 |
| #4 | Boo🦉 | +1.04 | 49 | 45 |
| #5 | AustinBeFlossin | +0.44 | 33 | 41 |





