








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1933 | 36% |
| Smokes | 989 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 795 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1617 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,889 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noragami | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | -Dullah | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Zn1bor | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | MEEEEEOWツ | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | zuzu | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Urka | 235 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Noragami | 177 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | -Dullah | 150 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | MEEEEEOWツ | 107 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Zn1bor | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |





