








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Wingman | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1254 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2023 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1875 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 287 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,056,020 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bertram | 48% | 580 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bertram | 48% | 580 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bertram | 125 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bertram | 1242 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bertram | +0.44 | 58 | 40 |
| #2 | S1mon | -0.69 | 49 | 23 |





