








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1902 | 45% |
| Smokes | 953 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1014 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 395 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,390 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hvide aparges | 50% | 137 |
| #2 | gamer | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Aparges | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hvide aparges | 50% | 137 |
| #2 | gamer | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Aparges | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hvide aparges | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Aparges | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | gamer | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hvide aparges | 556 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Aparges | 230 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | gamer | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoda | +1.73 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | hvide aparges | +1.34 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | gamer | -1.09 | 67 | 36 |
| #4 | Aparges | -3.46 | 58 | 57 |





