








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 85 | 10% |
| Smokes | 219 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 209 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 359 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,782 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ste7ans Glatze | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | ecifi | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Tsuki | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | [Furry] Smaugon | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | dasschaaff | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsuki | 8 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | dasschaaff | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsuki | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | dasschaaff | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | ecifi | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ste7ans Glatze | 19 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | [Furry] Smaugon | 13 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsuki | +6.65 | 78 | 41 |
| #2 | Ste7ans Glatze | +5.52 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | ecifi | -1.22 | 39 | 53 |
| #4 | dasschaaff | -1.56 | 58 | 40 |
| #5 | [Furry] Smaugon | -2.01 | 17 | 47 |





