








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,748 | |
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 251 | 25% |
| Smokes | 145 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 263 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 328 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,430 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ppppppppppp1 | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | p0hjan | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Amer | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ppppppppppp1 | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | p0hjan | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Amer | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ppppppppppp1 | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | p0hjan | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0hjan | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | ppppppppppp1 | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Amer | 32 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ppppppppppp1 | +4.87 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | p0hjan | +3.73 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | Amer | +1.01 | 83 | 38 |
| #4 | Gibbo1337 | -1.64 | 73 | 40 |





