










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 989 | 43% |
| Smokes | 454 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 173 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,775 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herbefa | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Антуан | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Templar | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Noname | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | SaneP | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JihuS | 44% | 78 |
| #7 | shay__p | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Luolis | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | vaLLu | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | sinappi ahven :D | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JihuS | 17 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Noname | 7 | 0.0264 |
| #3 | sinappi ahven :D | 7 | 0.0306 |
| #4 | Templar | 6 | 0.0213 |
| #5 | shay__p | 2 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JihuS | 232 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | SaneP | 84 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Noname | 58 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #4 | herbefa | 53 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Templar | 39 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaneP | +2.97 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | JihuS | +2.29 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | Luolis | +0.88 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | Антуан | +0.62 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | herbefa | +0.34 | 69 | 68 |





