










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 886 | 33% |
| Smokes | 793 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 355 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,460,690 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | emmanuel kant | 45% | 143 |
| #4 | ReapeR | 44% | 78 |
| #5 | hellekt | 40% | 72 |
| #6 | Arjuna | 39% | 56 |
| #7 | BlockierEagle74 | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emmanuel kant | 328 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | ♡Lucy Muffin♡ | 139 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Arjuna | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | BlockierEagle74 | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ReapeR | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |





