








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1205 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1380 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1030 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 781 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,777 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Peksi the koutsi | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | >Kuppakeekki :=DDDD | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Åkerman ja mies | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Peksi the koutsi | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | >Kuppakeekki :=DDDD | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Åkerman ja mies | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peksi the koutsi | 7 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Åkerman ja mies | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | :D | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | >Kuppakeekki :=DDDD | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Åkerman ja mies | 183 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | :D | 155 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Peksi the koutsi | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | >Kuppakeekki :=DDDD | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D | +2.15 | 54 | 71 |
| #2 | Peksi the koutsi | +1.39 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | peksi peksi peppu seksi | +0.26 | 56 | 65 |
| #4 | Åkerman ja mies | -1.33 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | >Kuppakeekki :=DDDD | -1.63 | 60 | 48 |





