








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 163 | 20% |
| Smokes | 210 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 298 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 136 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,609 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkbert | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | -WegiE- | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Falle hellcase.org | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | Downow | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkbert | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | -WegiE- | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Falle hellcase.org | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | Downow | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Downow | 2 | 0.0180 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkbert | 10 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #2 | Downow | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | -WegiE- | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Falle hellcase.org | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkbert | -0.07 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | jimmothy | -0.29 | 88 | 50 |
| #3 | Downow | -0.52 | 85 | 52 |
| #4 | -WegiE- | -2.15 | 76 | 16 |
| #5 | Falle hellcase.org | -4.83 | 13 | 58 |





