








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 826 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 14% |
| Smokes | 875 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2622 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1895 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,317,769 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuffWhiskers | 50% | 108 |
| #2 | TheIbe | 48% | 52 |
| #3 | Michel Drets | 46% | 120 |
| #4 | Kilmor78 | 45% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuffWhiskers | 50% | 108 |
| #2 | TheIbe | 48% | 52 |
| #3 | Michel Drets | 46% | 120 |
| #4 | Kilmor78 | 45% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuffWhiskers | 19 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Michel Drets | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | TheIbe | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Kilmor78 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kilmor78 | 132 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | TheIbe | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Michel Drets | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | BuffWhiskers | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuffWhiskers | +2.57 | 57 | 36 |
| #2 | Michel Drets | +0.69 | 63 | 32 |
| #3 | Mohamed | +0.45 | 56 | 46 |
| #4 | TheIbe | -1.90 | 43 | 37 |
| #5 | Kilmor78 | -3.10 | 38 | 40 |





