








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1564 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1393 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 899 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1531 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $403,729 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edbooo | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | M3rcuryUwU | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | niuniu e ba | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | N2o | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Lucky丶Ice | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | N2o | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Lucky丶Ice | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | rain | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | sTarrEA | 54% | 50 |
| #8 | BeaKie | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sTarrEA | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Edbooo | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | niuniu e ba | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | rain | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | N2o | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edbooo | 91 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | sTarrEA | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | BeaKie | 69 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | N2o | 47 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lucky丶Ice | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rain | +2.92 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Edbooo | +2.77 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | M3rcuryUwU | +2.73 | 79 | 51 |
| #4 | 17 | +2.64 | 89 | 62 |
| #5 | sTarrEA | +1.77 | 92 | 51 |





