








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 606 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5676 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4737 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6875 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6408 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,022,838 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1018 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koinzell | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | schizo | 54% | 96 |
| #3 | ♕ krab | 50% | 130 |
| #4 | bredd | 47% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koinzell | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | schizo | 54% | 96 |
| #3 | ♕ krab | 50% | 130 |
| #4 | bredd | 47% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bredd | 23 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | schizo | 18 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | ♕ krab | 10 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bredd | 1024 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #2 | ♕ krab | 357 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | schizo | 247 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Koinzell | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bendejo | +1.20 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | Koinzell | +1.10 | 94 | 49 |
| #3 | bredd | +0.95 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | ♕ krab | +0.91 | 84 | 52 |
| #5 | schizo | +0.59 | 83 | 63 |





