








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Wingman | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7320 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6025 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8798 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6721 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,561,484 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tubby Toucan | 54% | 446 |
| #2 | Maz | 45% | 66 |
| #3 | EZRA.ᐟ | 43% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tubby Toucan | 54% | 446 |
| #2 | Maz | 45% | 66 |
| #3 | EZRA.ᐟ | 43% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EZRA.ᐟ | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Maz | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Tubby Toucan | 7 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tubby Toucan | 1033 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | EZRA.ᐟ | 322 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Maz | 140 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maz | +2.50 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | Vanir | +2.45 | 71 | 54 |
| #3 | Tubby Toucan | -0.12 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | EZRA.ᐟ | -5.71 | 15 | 46 |





